friday the 13th .... my inspiration

rough and unedited..but here we go!!

Know

I know you
you were once
my hero

i know you
you were once
my shelter

i know you
you were once
my passion
(my desire)

I know you
you were once
the arms that held me close
never letting me go

I know you
you were once
my light

my warmth

my smile

my everything

I know you
you were once
a part of me

i know you
WE were once
inseperable

I know you
we were once
smiling together

I know you
you keep
haunting my dreams

I see you there
at the end of the maze

I know you
I love you with
every fiber of my being
down to my last breath

I will say
I know you
But do you know me

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Name

What, by that,
is in a name

Is a name your
identity, or does
it define who
you are

Or is it nothing,
just sound to fill
an empty void of
loneliness, our own
yearning

learning towards
something...more

Is a name a
word used to call
to call out for
loved ones

Maybe that is why
I know no names
I once was loved
But he left me

I did know names
but not anymore
I do have a name
but no one calls it out

It is a name
lost forever
there it floats
in the sea of
my unhappiness
waiting to be pulled
to shore

but no one is here
no one is there
i am utterly
....
ALONE

In the silence
of my own
tears

Just me

And I

Without

A name


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Your smile
It haunts me

You were once
a part of me

we were once
something

i love you
i always have

no matter how many times
you hurt me,
you let me fall,
you kill make me cry

i can't turn my
eyes away from your face
from your piercing eyes

you sit there
looking away
acting like i
don't exist

and maybe i don't

do i?

cesspool ....ha.

i am drowning in a cesspool (thank you zosha in history class). i am so friggin tired of all this.... i don't know if tis stress or just bad karma....but everything that could possibly good wrong decides it wants to go wrong now. like the fact that i have finals, the same week i have my last figure skating competition of the season and now i have to do the whole...practice until you can't feel your legs thing! (im too tired to say thats what she said) and i am just so overwhelmed. i have to wonder what happens if i end up doing really well on all of these things....or if i don't its kinda weird to think of what will happen...

yup... but if all goes wrong.... That will be me ---------------------->

party.
(without my head of course)

oh well. hopefully it will be done soon. so i can just get this over with and like just relax for awhile whilst on a cruise with my boys...tarek and nabeal (very close family friends since before i was born...i am the oldest and tarek is like six months younger than me...and nabeal is my sisters age). we usually do everything together over spring break. its usually fun...although i do miss their mom. she was recently taken away from us due to that damn stomach cancer....
i guess that is also why we are so close. ah well.

well...at least im doing skatin a lot this week...which is nice...ish. niceish. ha.

and now i must end with one of my favorite songs:

All my friends say that of course it's gonna get better
Gonna get better
Better better better better better better better

I never loved nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting my heart truly
I got lost
In the sounds
I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind
All of this music
And it breaks my heart
And It breaks my heart

I hear in my mind
All of these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind
All of this music
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
And It Breaks my Heart
When it Breaks my heart


i love regina.